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Bored and procrastinating, so I do memes.

Come on, guys, there's only one that no one's gotten. One of you has to get it.

Open the Word doc of your fic. Click AutoSummarise (on the tools menu), when it has autosumarised tell it to put the output in a new document and that you want the summary to be 100 words or less. The shorter the fic the more coherent sense the summary will make, but the long ones are funnier.

I decided to do a few, just to see what would happen.

First I did Apples, day 1 of the scarvesnhats I did in 2005. This one is really a fic in and of itself:

“Now, can anyone tell me the magical significance applied to apples by Muggles?” “Supposedly, if peeled in a single strand, the strand will reveal the initials of the peeler’s true love.” “Apples are key ingredients in some love potions, though,” Peter pointed out, tossing another apple into his own basket.

“Told you it was hogwash,” he said, tossing the other apple to Remus. James and Peter groaned and went back to their game. “Your turn, Moony,” Sirius said quietly.

Next I did Not With a Bang, a bit of angsty Jack/Daniel break-up fic. It actually made sense:

Daniel asked, blinking in just-woken confusion. “Jack?” “No,” Jack said slowly, and Daniel crossed his arms over his bare chest. Jack opened his mouth to speak but Daniel stopped him with a gesture. “Daniel,” Jack began, not sure what to say, but Daniel cut him off with a raised hand. “Get the hell out,” Daniel said, turning to face Jack at last. Those eyes that Jack loved so much were icy, chilling Jack to the bone. Jack felt Daniel’s eyes on him as he gathered his things and left the room.

A little longer still with Missing: Memories of Last Night; If Found, Please Return to SB, day 1 of the 2006 blanketforts I did. This one could almost be a fic, too, except it doesn't really have an end to it:

Sirius woke and immediately regretted it. Sirius asked, once he had reached the kitchen. Sirius would never understand why Remus chose to cook the Muggle way; he swore it tasted better, but Sirius couldn’t tell the difference.

Sirius’ eyes widened and Remus grinned, as if he could tell exactly what Sirius was thinking.

Sirius opened his eyes and then his mouth to apologize but Remus held up a hand to stop him.

Then I took a longer one, Ab esse ad posse, 1000 bittersweet words of unresolved Jack/Daniel I wrote for picfor1000. This one kind of made sense, but only barely:

Daniel asked again, incredulous. “Yeah,” Jack said with a fond smile. Daniel pressed. “Sara’s dad taught me,” Jack said, smile fading, and Daniel winced. Daniel joined Jack’s laughter at the image. Jack rounded on him. Daniel flushed guiltily. Jack asked, chuckling.

Jack laughed, too, and they lapsed in companionable silence for a while, Jack watching the game and Daniel watching Jack. Daniel didn’t speak. Had Jack finally talked to Sam? Daniel blinked. “The loop reset,” Jack said. Jack didn’t say, but Daniel knew. “Very,” Jack said, breathless. “I know,” Daniel interrupted. “I’m so sorry, Daniel,” Jack said quietly.

And for the grand finale, Jealous of Your Cigarette, the big honking (for me, at least) Stargate AU. This one made no sense at all:

“See you around, Jack.”

At Jack, not at Daniel. Daniel chuckled and nodded.

“Really,” Jack said, eyes wide. Daniel asked earnestly when Jack had gone quiet.


Daniel stepped back and grabbed Jack’s hand, tucking their linked hands in Jack’s coat pocket. “Sounds great,” Jack said. Jack asked. Daniel hid behind his menu, mumbling something Jack couldn’t hear, and Jack grinned.

“Sure,” Jack said. “Lube,” Jack gasped out, and Daniel nodded. Jack screamed and came.

“What’s wrong, Jack?”

Jack asked, and Daniel blinked up at him, confused. Daniel denied, turning to face Jack.

But it has lube, so I guess everyone's happy.

Eeheehee, that was too much fun.


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